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When a child asks for something, there is one answer to “Why?” that can leave a parent stuck: “All my friends have it.”
It can sound like they just want to keep up. But as parents, we know that sometimes children genuinely love something, and sometimes they simply want to join in with their friends. Saying no is one thing. Answering the next question is harder: “Then what am I supposed to play with them?”
Recent discussions in China about Xiaotiancai (小天才) children’s watches and Kayou trading cards have brought this dilemma into the open. Parents in Japan have their own version, with shopping lists that include game consoles and clothes that exist only inside a game.
A watch that makes calls may not be enough
Xiaotiancai is a Chinese brand of connected devices for children. Think of its watches as wrist-worn phones with location tracking, rather than simply smaller versions of an adult’s smartwatch. Parents can use a companion app on their own phones to check where a child is and keep in touch.
When parents choose a watch like this, they look at location tracking, calls and battery life. Their child’s first question might be: “Can I add my friends?”
For children, part of the appeal is adding friends by bringing their watches together, then talking through the built-in chat system. In the Chinese products examined in the reporting, these social features work within Xiaotiancai’s own watch network. A child with another brand can still make an ordinary call, but cannot simply join the same chats.
To a parent, being able to call when needed may seem enough. A child, though, has friends who are already used to keeping in touch a certain way. A cheaper watch might do everything the parent needs without giving the child the same way to join in.
The more friends use it, the more useful it becomes to the next child. Other watches are available, but choosing one may mean missing out on the way those friends keep in touch. That leaves parents comparing more than prices and features: they also have to consider what the other children in the class use.
Nobody has to say, “We won’t play with you unless you buy one.” When friends talk to one another through a particular device, simply finding it harder to join in can create pressure. Parents start out choosing a way to stay in touch with their child and end up having to think about their child’s friendships too.
Cards are much cheaper to get started with, but they can have a similar pull.
A couple of years ago, a third-grade girl in Beijing bought three packs of My Little Pony cards: two at two yuan each, and one at ten yuan. She opened them and immediately checked the rarity symbols. When she did not find what she wanted, she threw away a dozen or so cards.
Around the same time, children were arriving at Kayou shops with binders of cards to trade. Others bought whole boxes and opened pack after pack. The ordinary cards were piling up, but the one they wanted still had not appeared.
With random card packs, it is hard to know in advance how much a hobby will cost. Buy the toy a child wants, and that may be the end of it. Buy several packs of cards, and they may still be longing for the one their friend has.
Each request seems small: a few yuan, or ten or so. By the time parents decide enough is enough, their child’s friends may still be buying and trading. Parents are trying to stick to a budget while their child is trying to keep up with friends.
Buying a console so a child can join in
For parents in Japan, the dilemma does not necessarily start with a rare card. Deciding whether to buy a console can be difficult enough.
In a small survey of parents published by Koshigaya City in 2018, one mother said that neither she nor her husband liked games, and they had not wanted their child to play them. But the friends around their child talked about little else. The couple found it increasingly difficult to hold out and eventually bought a Switch.
It was one family’s decision, but the reason for giving in is easy to understand. They had not suddenly taken to gaming. They were finding it harder to ignore how much it mattered to their child’s friendships.
The console, the games their friends have, and the subscriptions needed to play some games online are costs parents can see coming. They can at least work out roughly what they are agreeing to spend.
What can catch them off guard is having bought the console, found a game that is free to play, and still hearing another request to spend money.
In a 2020 parenting comic, Japanese mother Tapuriku described how her son, who played Fortnite on Switch, suddenly said he wanted to delete his account. When she asked why, she learned that his school friends kept showing off outfits and character animations they had paid for. He had never spent money in the game, and the comparison upset him so much that he did not want to play any more.
His mother had thought in-game purchases were something she would have to deal with when he was older. Seeing him cry, she wondered whether to let him use his New Year gift money. His father said no. Later, she found a letter her son had written to Santa, asking to be allowed to spend money in the game.
That is the detail that stays with you: when his parents said no, he took the same wish to Santa.
Fortnite is not a Nintendo-developed game; Switch is simply one of the devices it runs on. The basic game is free, and buying outfits does not make a character stronger. A child can play without buying them. But being told “You don’t need it” does not necessarily make it easy to watch all your friends enjoying something you do not have.
Parents know that virtual clothes are not essential. Yet those visible differences are precisely what children notice and compare. “You can still play without it” is a reasonable answer. It may not make the disappointment go away.
When spending becomes a way to win friends
In an interview around the same time, a teacher working in Japan described something more troubling: children buying in-game items for classmates in the hope of becoming more popular.
Similar concerns came up in a 2024 interview with Yoko Yagi, who teaches children about money. Some children asked friends for items; others were overly generous, giving gifts again and again. Families set different rules about in-game spending, and those differences could cause friction between friends.
That is harder to deal with than a child simply wanting something they like. Saying no to purchases in your own home does not stop your child’s friends from spending. And parents who allow purchases may not realise that the money is going towards gifts for classmates.
These accounts do not tell us how common this is among children in Japan. They do show that the peer pressure parents worry about is real, and that it is not confined to China or to a particular brand.
Xiaotiancai keeps some ways of connecting within its own watches. Random card packs leave children hoping the next pack will contain the card they want. Game outfits give friends another visible difference to compare. The reasons for spending vary, but parents often find themselves having the same conversation at home: do we say yes this time?
Trading cards belong on the list too
Physical trading cards also have a place in children’s friendships in Japan. Pokémon cards are not just collectibles: the Pokémon Trading Card Game is played face to face by two people.
One Japanese mother wrote that her sixth-grade son was not particularly interested in card games, but had still put together a deck he could play with. He did not want to be left out of conversations with his friends. She did not say which brand of cards he used. It is an example of why parents sometimes pay for things their children do not especially love.
Popular cards can also draw adult collectors and resellers. In August 2025, McDonald’s Japan offered Pokémon cards with children’s meals. Many restaurants ran out on the first day, and reports followed of bulk buying and discarded food. McDonald’s acknowledged that its response had been inadequate. Adults competing for something children wanted left parents with another problem: finding somewhere that still had it, then waiting in line. That pressure came from the adult market, on top of anything happening between children.
I often buy toys for my child in Japan too, including some where you do not know which one you will get. In my day-to-day experience, most are readily available, and the prices are not outlandish. Ordinary shopping is not the same as the scramble for a much-sought-after product. Still, when all your child’s friends are talking about that one thing, “Just don’t buy it” can feel much less simple than it sounds from the outside.
The worry is that one purchase will lead to another
We swapped stickers and compared new toys when we were children too. What makes things harder for parents now is that keeping up with friends offers so many more reasons to keep spending.
After the console comes the game a friend has just bought. Even with a game ready to play, there may be a new outfit to want. A child finally gets a favourite card, only to find that a friend has an even rarer one. Not every child will keep chasing the next thing. But it is hard to know in advance where your own child will stop.
“Other families buy it, but we don’t” can be a perfectly clear family rule. Living with it means explaining the budget, helping a child through their disappointment and, sometimes, finding another way for them to play with friends without spending more.
We want to spend money on things that make our children happy. We also know that doing things with friends will not always be free. The exhausting part is that even a small request can raise a question harder to answer than whether we can afford it: if we say no, will our child feel awkward around their friends?
When parents say yes, they may simply be hoping to make their child a little happier this time. They still do not know when the next request will come, or what it will be.
Sources and context
The family stories and interviews below describe individual experiences. They do not tell us how widespread these situations are nationally. The mother who wrote about her son’s card game did not name the brand. The comments about everyday toy shopping are the author’s personal observations.
- The Paper: children’s watches
- Beijing Evening News: card spending, 2024
- Koshigaya City: small parent survey, 2018
- Parenting comic and mother’s account, 2020
- Teacher interview, 2020
- Yoko Yagi interview, 2024
- Nintendo: online play
- Epic: cosmetic items
- Parent’s account, 2023
- Pokémon: official rules
- McDonald’s Japan: August 2025 promotion
- Sponichi: reporting from August 2025
- McDonald’s statement of 11 August 2025, reproduced
A note on names: this article uses Xiaotiancai, the Latin-script name of the Chinese brand 小天才. The related overseas brand is imoo; the China-specific social features described here should not be assumed to apply to every imoo model or market.